Ramadan and counting down

Yesterday I enjoyed my last day of work! It was relatively low-key. There weren't too many customers, so I had a nice leisurely evening with my coworkers. I sure will miss those people!

I've now been fasting for a week. It isn't fun, exactly, to fast, but it is tremendously enlightening. My first experience with Ramadan was back in 2006, during my first excursion to Turkey. I only fasted for a day but was shocked to discover how proud I was of my abstinence. I felt like I was participating in something bigger than myself; little did I know how that feeling would stick with me three years later.

The following year, my first year in college, I fasted for the whole month. I told myself that I was only going to do it to see if I could. Sure enough, I did it. Again, I was overcome with a sense of accomplishment and pride. I realize now, after a couple more years with it, that fasting isn't about pride. We do it because it is humbling, and it is asked of us. I find it to be a reminder of the human condition. Many are without the luxury of eating 3+ times a day. I can say with confidence that I understand how it feels to be hungry. Certainly, I've never gone hungry for months or years. I've never struggled to make ends meet. I've never been forced to live on the street. But Ramadan is a good start. It is a time to help us remember the gifts in our lives and how easily those can be taken away. It's a time for introspection and dedication, for learning and reading the Qur'an and growing as a spiritual person. Ramadan teaches us submission, which is really the heart of Islam.

This year, I feel a lot smarter. The first year I truly fasted (2007), I was excited to talk about it with everyone. I made sure the people around me knew what I was doing. I had no idea of the religious elements of fasting; I just wanted to be doing something different. I did get involved with DU's MSA, but I never really stuck with the group. The second year I fasted, I was working full time and wasn't waking up before Fajr to eat breakfast. As a result, even though I wanted to be fasting, I ended up feeling weak and dizzy. Since I was working sometimes 10 or 11 hours a day, my health and well being were really starting to deteriorate. I decided to not complete the fast, only making it through a couple of weeks.

This year, I feel more humble. I try not to talk about it; I feel like excessive excitement about fasting can detract from the introspective, spiritual element of it. I'll certainly answer questions posed by my coworkers and friends, but I'm not shoving it in anyone's face. I'm also taking care to wake up and eat breakfast, so that I have the energy to stay upright during the day. This is particularly important, as having low energy makes it more difficult to be kind to oneself and one's surroundings. I find that I still start crashing in the early afternoon, but not to the extent that I was last year. I still don't have a good grasp on the religious aspect, but I'm getting there. I frequently find myself whispering some of the shorter surahs of the Qur'an to myself during lulls at work in an attempt to memorize them. I can almost complete a prayer on my own, relying minutely on my books to guide me. I anticipate that next year will be even more spiritually enriching for me, and I'm very excited for it. I'll try to read more of my Qur'an in the upcoming days.

I have about 2.5 days left until September 2. I've received some more information from my university in Turkey. It looks like I'll be in the political science department. I hope this won't adversely affect my desire to take international relations classes. I'll find that out the week of Sept. 11. I go in on the 11th to register, so I will (hopefully) find out more about class selection then. We have a 6 hour orientation on the 7th. I'm not quite pleased about the length of time, but I am glad it's shorter than the two-day orientations many of my friends are enduring.

Speaking of my friends, I believe that all but one has departed. It's been tough to say goodbye to so many all at once! Kyle is in Denmark, Cameron is in Russia, and Jenn is stranded in Japan for the moment. They all left within a week of each other, so it's been pretty dull for the last couple of days. My buddy Scott leaves in a couple of weeks, so I can only imagine that he's feeling pretty bummed as well. There is one girl from DU going with me to Turkey. It'll be nice to have someone nearby to talk to and hang out with. I'm excited to show her around.

In the next few days, I'll be packing and narrowing down my lists. I'm trying to find the perfect airplane playlist and reading list; it's much easier said than done! Hopefully I'll have a chance to try out my video editing software so I can start posting some vlogs. I have recorded a couple of short clips for it (mostly they're me staring at the camera and making weird faces, but it's a start), so if you're interested in that, stay tuned!